Teamwork

One Year Today

It doesn’t seem real that it’s been a year since my mom has passed. Sometimes I come across a picture of her and I’m almost shocked to remember that she isn’t here (at least in a form I can see). She is still so much a part of my daily life

Over Easter I went to spend some time with her where we had her service in NC. I swear I could feel her impatience because she wanted to visit with everyone and not listen to me be sad and feel sorry for myself. I find I have yet to let go of the regrets she tried to release me from. I still wish I’d spent more time with her. I wish I’d gotten over my issues with her and just focused on enjoying her instead of fighting her. I just wish I’d been a better daughter. It’s been hard to have a babysitter and let go of the dream of mom babysitting for me and taking walks around the lake. Just yesterday we took a walk and Coop kept going off in different directions and having a little adventure. It was one of my mom’s favorite things to do with Coop just follow and see where he went. Whenever I feel down or too sorry for myself it never fails that one of her beloved friends will call me or e-mail me to check in on me.

There’s a poem she wanted read at her funeral that helped me through the worst of this year and I read it often. I try very hard to remember this and to honor her by keeping her a part of our daily life. Sometimes I see the boys both looking up at the same time and both smiling and laughing. Every once in a while Cooper will just randomly say, “GiGi”. Right before we went to Snowshoe to spread some of her ashes with Wolfie, our family dog, Coop started laughing and saying “Wolfie!!” Jim and I just looked at each other and smiled. (I miss that dog!)

Anyway sorry for the indulgent post - I just miss my mommy.

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Death Is Nothing At All

Death is nothing at all. I have only slipped away into the next room. I am I, and you are you. Whatever we were to each other, that we still are. Call me by my old familiar name, speak to me in the easy way that you always used.

Put no difference in your tone, wear no forced air of solemnity or sorrow. Laugh as we always laughed at the little jokes we enjoyed together. Play, smile, think of me, pray for me. Let my name be ever the household word that it always was, let it be spoken without effect, without the trace of a shadow on it.

Life means all that it ever meant. It is the same as it ever was; there is unbroken continuity. Why should I be out of mind because I am out of sight? I am waiting for you, for an interval, somewhere very near, just round the corner.

All is well.

Henry Scott Holland (1847-1918)
Canon of St. Paul’s Cathedral

Easter 2008

Easter 2008 kind of snuck up on us. I had it in my calendar for the end of April for some reason. I had purchased some darling Easter decorations and some eggs for our traditional Easter tree. (Me and mom would always find a forsythia bush when it started blooming and hang the eggs from it.) So the week before Easter we suddenly realized we had a trip to plan for and decorations to put up we did so pretty hastily. Jim hung our decorations- two eggs and a GiGi butterfly. I couldn’t find any blooming forsythia so we just used the sticks the boys helped me find as our tree and hung some eggs. It proved quite the temptation for the boys. Bear likes to climb on top of the table (often) and bat at the big Easter eggs. It’s hard to be mad at him when he’s so cute doing it.

So Saturday we get up and head to Sheryl and Bill’s home.

We (by we I mean Jim) blew up balloons and the boys had a ball chasing them and Coop was cracking us up by pulling the balloons out of Jim’s mouth and letting all the air out.

The highlight for the boys was Cotton the dog. They just chased little Cotton all over the place and he loved jumping right on them and licking them to death.

Given our schedules we had a little b-day party for the boys. (Cooper’s 3^rd and Bear’s 2^nd.) We had the balloons and gave the boys candles on a plate to blow out. They loved it and we had to re-light the candles several times. Mostly though the boys got lots of trains and train tracks so they were ecstatic! (The boys went to bed and we watched the most amazing movie- August Rush. Totally worth renting it in my opinion.)

For Easter we took a walk down to where we had mom’s service and enjoyed a quiet morning. Then off to see Hawey and get food ready for Easter. We enjoyed an Easter feast and then got to have our first Easter Egg Hunt!!! I was so excited for it. Everyone hid the eggs (in very plain sight) and watched as Coop just ran around the whole yard collecting all the eggs. Bear realized by about the second egg that there was toys in them and was more focused on getting to the toys. Coop had so much fun he made us re-hide the eggs so he could collect them again.

It was a wonderful day. My favorite part was we were all outside watching the boys when Bebba and I looked up and saw this yellow butterfly float over the house and the yard and we knew GiGi was there with us.

Can We Just Get To The Playground?!

Abbie has been bugging me to post this story. It's too cute.

One day when I had pink eye, Abbie asked me to take the boys to the playground while she showered since it had been a couple of days since she had a chance to shower. So, I agreed.

I got the boys ready to go and we went outside. Abbie went into the bedroom to get ready for her shower.

Me and the boys are outside, and I'm trying to get them to start walking to the playground. That's when Cooper asks me, "Where's Momma". When they both realized she wasn't joining us, they both had a fit and wouldn't walk any further. Nothing I could do would get them going. So we had to find Abbie for the boys.

We come back to the apartment. Abbie's got music blasting in the bedroom so she can hear it in the shower. Thankfully, she hadn't jumped into the shower yet...so she got her shoes on and joined us at the playground. Another example of how Abbie gets hijacked by the boys.

There was another incident that same week where I remember Abbie was going to come out with us, but told me and the boys to go ahead, and Cooper turned back to look at the apartment's front door to see if Abbie has joined us. He did this every few steps and really slowed down our progress in getting to the playground.

Sweet Collard Wraps

I'm constantly trying out new recipes for the boys hoping that one or two will stick. I've made these sweet collard wraps that have pine nuts, sun dried tomatoes, dill, mint and a few other things. (If you are interested the recipe is here: http://www.living-wellness-center.com/recipes.htm) I've made these a few times without much success in getting the boys to try them but the other night to my delight Coop took a few nibbles of mine and then wanted his own!

Does It Get Any Cuter?

What Coop Sees

I know the picture isn't the best but this is a bottle of Oregon Grape Extract. Great for keeping the little yeast beasties under control. The boys love it because it's sweet. Cooper sees it and starts asking for his, "Chocolate." Now I turn and get excited wondering if he found some old chocolate that I'd hidden months ago but alas it's just our Oregon Grape Extract.

It's Something

As we all know Cooper hates it when I sing. If I sing more than a verse of anything he pretty much has a fit shaking his whole body back and forth as if it's physically painful for him to hear me sing. Well tonight he requested me to sing Twinkle Twinkle Little Star not once but twice!! Then he wanted to watch Dora. I told him after dinner we could watch Dora. So I thought maybe I could sing him a little bit of the Dora theme song. That part didn't go over very well and he threw his normal fit. But hey it's progress right?

Lake Lynn Trips Have Resumed

We are so fortunate to live very close to Lake Lynn. It's the biggest lake around here and has a cool little playground. Now that the weather is getting nicer the boys have taken to asking to go to the lake. Instead of walking to the playground they will veer up our hill and say, "To the lake mommy!" oh about 50 times.

Their favorite thing to do is to throw rocks in the water. The poor ducks and geese come running, well swimming, over all excited to be getting some bread or whatever else people feed them and here come my boys throwing rocks for them to eat. The ducks stick around for a little while but give up quickly when they try to eat a rock.


These are the mutant ducks we have around here. I heard another kid call them "dog ducks". They hiss and to get anywhere they have to strain their neck forward to get a rocking motion going to get any momentum. It's actually a little scary. Coop likes to make the hissing sounds they make.One trip around the lake I attempted to go without a stroller. In my defense it had only intended to be a little walk to the first bridge to throw some rocks then head back home. They decided they wanted to walk. So walk we did. We got all the way to the third bridge. I turned them around to walk back home- I knew we were farther than we should have been but I was not prepared for Bear to get tired and just lay down on the bridge and attempt a nap. (He certainly doesn't do that at home!) I tried to get him to hold my hand but nope he was tired and it would only work if I would carry him. Now in our little world if I'm carrying Bear then Coop wants to be carried. (This drama had played itself out a long time ago so I was surprised to see it pop up but Coop was tired too.) Coop was a trooper though he walked the whole way back. My biceps were truly burning but we made it. We got up the ginormous hill and two of the mutant ducks dive bombed me. Not sure if they thought I was coming to their nest or what but I had to hit the deck while the boys thought it was quite fun to watch the ducks fly right over them. Then Coop says, "Momma what you doing?" Maybe I should have tried to take a nap there and see what they would have done :-)

Still my favorite part of our trips around the lake is by halfway they are done walking and playing they just want a ride. Bear falls asleep almost instantly. Coop will check on Bear twice and if he's satisfied Bear is really asleep he'll tell me, "Ok Bear's asleep mommy." Then he will fall asleep himself. They have two drama's in the stroller- if Bear climbs in and sits on Coop's side look out! Or Coop keeps trying to rub Bear's head and Bear does not like that one single bit. But mostly they just sit and talk and one time I saw Coop pat Bear's hand very sweetly.

Quotables

Sometime last week during our goop saga the tv was on cartoons almost all day. At one point Little Mermaid was on. Thats a show we don't usually watch. Coop was watching it intently so I left it on. There was a scene where the little lobster was flossing a big whales teeth and it started to sneeze and drag them all in.

Cooper says, "Ohhh mommy that's scary!"
"You want me to change it?"
"Yes."
Change the channel.
"Thanks mommy."
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This morning I had to take Rocket Ship away because he kept banging it on the chairs trying to break it. He started crying and in his tears he said, "Mommy that's crying." I guess he wasn't sure if I would recognize the tears?

What Coop Sees

This is the container that holds our sewing machine. But for Coop he got in it and started saying, "Chugga chugga chugga choooo chooooo!" But he was doing the whole arm motion thing and trying to scoot the container forward!

What Coop Sees

Now this may seem like an ordinary vaccum cleaner nozzle but to Cooper this is his "Rocket Ship". He flies it around the apartment and hides it from us. He's constantly asking, "Mommy where's Rocket ship? Look there it is!!"

Super Cooper

There's this show on PBS called "Super Why". One day we came across it and they had this really cool ABC song so I recorded it to just play that song. Well Coop became quite enthralled with the Super Readers and would ask quite often for "Super". The next one we watched was about Jack and the Bean Stalk. I think his brother is Jack. (All the characters are based off of some story like Princess Pea. Little Boy Blue or Red Riding Hood.) So Cooper literally calls everyone Jack now. There were painters outside and Coop kept yelling, "Hi Jack!" He gave the dude a hug and he told Coop his name was Armando. Coop said, "Ok bye Jack!" Little boys at the park he'd runs up to them yelling, "Hi Jack!" he gets all up in their face and does not understand why they weren't responding. I keep asking him how he knows their name is Jack.

But nothing takes the cake as to Coop and his cape. It was a piece of fabric that looked a lot prettier in the store than at home so he took it and wrapped it around himself saying, "Super Cooper!" So I tied it off for him and he and Bear had a ball with the cape.


It got a little hairy after a while with Coop not wanting to play with Bear anymore so I cut it in half and they both had capes! Now they bring it to me saying, "Super!"

We went to take a walk around the lake and he refused to take it off. So he went around the whole lake with his cape on. Everyone kept asking if he was Superman. I was like um no, he's Super Cooper. The best part was when he said, "Look Mommy my wings and started flapping his arms furiously and running down the sidewalk.

The Goop

Well I wish I could say that our lack of blogging over the last two weeks is because we were just so busy doing really fun things. Alas the goop, as I lovingly refer to it, got us all. Two weeks ago Coop came down with it in both of his eyes. He really was a great trooper about it. He slept a lot and patiently let us pick at his goop. Wednesday night Jim got home and he had the goop.It started off small and then stuff just was oozing. He had to stay home from work from Thursday all the way until the following Wednesday! He was getting better and then his other eye decided it wanted to have some goop. Friday Coop was cleared up completely so we went back to the gym and by the end of the day I was couch stricken with a horrible lung and sinus infection. (You know it's a good infection when you call the hubby in to look at the phlegm that you are vomiting up and he thinks it is cool!) On top of that I had a horrible headache that lasted for 4 days so I was no fun to be around. Then on Monday morning Bear looked up at me with his sweet teddy bear brown eyes and I saw the goop. Oh my goodness!! He got hit in both eyes as well but the goop was actually pretty minimal. So we were all house bound again and I admit to a little bit of stir craziness. Our apartment is small on any given day but with the four of us all at the same time for an extended period like that and the apartment felt even smaller. Bear started looking good around Wednesday his moved really fast and then I started feeling twitches. I literally prayed hard that if I was going to get the goop it come and go as fast as it could because I had a class on Saturday that I just could not miss. I'll spare you the details of all the stuff I did to make that happen (it will be on my health related blog later this week) but lets just say that I kicked some goop's but. I spent all day Thursday basically blind with goop. Each side of my face took turns swelling up to the point you couldn't tell where my eye started and my cheek began. I could only keep my eyes open for about 10-15 minutes at a time and then I'd have to let them close up and irrigate to get them somewhat open. It was very enlightening to focus on using my other senses. The boys stayed close to me and I could reach out and know where they were. I could feel when Bear was flapping his arms in frustration and I could actually feel when Cooper was smiling. He even took my hand a few times to lead me to something. It was a rough day because I had things coming out of my lungs, sinuses and eyes but I'd asked for it to go fast so I couldn't complain.

By Saturday I just had really red eyes but I was able to make it to the class. It was exhausting so I was in bed before 9 last night! Jim is still feeling twinges but overall we are all FINALLY on the other side of the Goop and tomorrow our life can resume. Yipppeeee!!!!

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I've put pictures of the boys and their goop saga. Jim is trying to persuade me to put one of me up. Let me just say this- I am to vain too do so. I will if like 5 or more people post a comment and for some strange reason have to see it. I literally made Jim promise to still love me before he could view the picture :-) It wasn't pretty and you don't want to see it. I'm just so glad it's OVER!

Sleep Saga

So I could probably spend a few hours chronicling our sleep issues with Bear. I think I'll pass on my pity party and say we've gotten ourself in a huge pickle with this kid. He is one of the most (if not the most) stubborn child I've ever met. (Jamie says he gets it from me. If that's true we are in trouble!) I know it's our fault because we've obviously not sent the right boundaries. It's just so much harder than I ever imagined!

Our goal is simple we want him to sleep through the night- in his crib- without nursing. Do we ask for too much? He has lungs that never give up. I'm surprised the neighbors we have upstairs haven't complained about us or moved. Last week he was up every night for hours on end. I'm talking 3-4 hours non-stop wailing. We'd made so much progress previously. Out trip to Snowshoe just tilted the whole balance we had on end. He went from waking up at 5:30 to 4:30 to 3:30 to 2 and then to midnight. And if you didn't pick him up he just wouldn't stop. We pulled out the ear plugs even- nothing worked. We just don't do well on the whole sleep deprivation diet. Seriously I can see how sleep deprivation is a form of torture!

So we've had to compromise yet again and the last three nights he has slept through the night until 5:30 am and not going back to sleep. BUT this morning after 30 minutes he went back to sleep!!! He was up right at 7 though and he went right to the couch ready to nurse and SCREAMED holy heck when I got Coop out of bed. But then he nursed and was happy as a clam. Here's hoping we are onto something!

Coop Got A Hair Cut

I don't know if you've noticed but Coop finally got a hair cut!!! We were attempting to let his hair grow out so it would lay down on top but he was looking so crazy I finally gave in and Jim gave him a hair cut. Give the boy a cracker and he just sits there and ignores the razor! Jim even got the little fade action going- who knew?

Cuddles

When I got home from the coffee shop both of the boys were on the floor cuddled up with daddy watching a show. (Bear jumped up when he saw me but he was lying in front of Coop it was very cute. I got my own snuggle time before bed when both the boys crawled up on the chair with me.

Pink Eye Must Be Going Around

Jim sent me a picture when I was at the coffee shop on Sunday(I will spare you all here) of some lovely goop coming out of Cooper's right eye. He had a slightly elevated temp and was overall fine just bothered by the goop from time to time. (Cleaning it out provides some lovely drama.) He cuddled up on the couch last night and went to bed early. Today it's in the other eye as well so we are hoping it will run it's course quickly. It's a very odd sensation to be stuck in the house ALL day with the boys. We played tag, built some castles, played on the train set, colored and fought (many many times) over the water bottle and it was only 11 am- I'm EXHAUSTED :-) Do you think the daycare at the gym would notice Coop's swollen eyelids and goop coming out? I mean really they won't care will they?

Playground Visit

I was lucky to have some time this weekend to do some work. (Jim watched the boys while I camped out in a local coffee shop.) When I got home I was anxious to play with the boys so we headed over to the playground. A family of 4 kids came right behind us and Coop got very excited. He started yelling, "Hi guys!" with that wave were he's actually waving at himself. (I think it disarms people because they don't realize he's actually waving at them.) So he blocks the path of this little boy saying hi and then he says, "Hi Jack, what's your name?" The boy just turned to him mom and said, "Mom he won't move!" Coop gave up on him and instead tried to play with their dog. When that didn't work he moved on to walking the wall but was distraught when one little section of the wall was missing. He kept coming to me and taking my hand and pulling me to the hole. "Look mommy it's a hole." I agree with him it is a hole. "Mommy fix it!

Bear really didn't care about the family that was there he just ran his little circles around them causing all of us to scramble because he kept running around the swings and they were torturing themselves trying not to smack him. I finally stopped chasing him and then he stopped running in front of the swings. Bear was all about the slide this trip and trying to go down really fast. He got me to push him and each time I would push him he would zing down and his hair would go straight up from the static electricity!

"

What Coop Sees

What do you see when you look at this? Coop actually sees two things- guess it just depends on what show he's watched.

1- Spaceship. He will count down from 10. Sounds something like, "10, 3, 4, 5, 2, 1, 0 blastofffffff!"

2. Katchai- "Oh nooo mommy it's a katchai! Bats, spiders, mosquitoes and bears!!!!" or "Careful mommy it's the katchai!"

Thinking of Having Kids?

Thinking of Having Kids?
Do this 15 step program first!

Lesson 1
1. Go to the grocery store.
2. Arrange to have your salary paid directly to their head office.
3. Go home.
4. Pick up the paper.
5. Read it for the last time.

Lesson 2
Before you finally go ahead and have children, find a couple who already are parents and berate them about their...
1. Methods of discipline.
2. Lack of patience.
3. Appallingly low tolerance levelsb
4. Allowing their children to run wild.
5. Suggest ways in which they might improve their child's breast-feeding, sleep habits, toilet training, table manners, and overall behavior.
Enjoy it because it will be the last time in your life you will have all the answers.

Lesson 3
A really good way to discover how the nights might feel...
1. Get home from work and immediately begin walking around the living room from 5PM to 10PM carrying a wet bag weighing approximately 8-12 pounds, with a radio turned to static (or some other obnoxious sound) playing loudly.
(Eat cold food with one hand for dinner)
2. At 10PM, put the bag gently down, set the alarm for midnight, and go to sleep.
3. Get up at 12 and walk around the living room again, with the bag, until 1AM.
4. Set the alarm for 3AM.
5. As you can't get back to sleep, get up at 2AM and make a drink and watch an infomercial.
6. Go to bed at 2:45AM.
7. Get up at 3AM when the alarm goes off.
8. Sing songs quietly in the dark until 4AM.
9. Get up. Make breakfast. Get ready for work and go to work (work hard and be productive)
Repeat steps 1-9 each night. Keep this up for 3-5 years. Look cheerful and together.

Lesson 4
Can you stand the mess children make? To find out...
1. Smear peanut butter onto the sofa and jam onto the curtains.
2. Hide a piece of raw chicken behind the stereo and leave it there all summer.
3. Stick your fingers in the flower bed.
4. Then rub them on the clean walls.
5. Take your favorite book, photo album, etc. Wreck it.
6. Spill milk on your new pillows. Cover the stains with crayons. How does that look?

Lesson 5
Dressing small children is not as easy as it seems.
1. Buy an octopus and a small bag made out of loose mesh.
2. Attempt to put the octopus into the bag so that none of the arms hang out.
Time allowed for this - all morning.

Lesson 6
1. Take an egg carton. Using a pair of scissors and a jar of paint, turn it into an alligator.
2. Now take the tube from a roll of toilet paper. Using only Scotch tape and a piece of aluminum foil, turn it into an attractive Christmas candle .
3. Last, take a milk carton, a ping-pong ball, and an empty packet of Cocoa Puffs. Make an exact replica of the Eiffel Tower .

Lesson 7
Forget the BMW and buy a mini-van. And don't think that you can leave it out in the driveway spotless and shining. Family cars don't look like that.
1. Buy a chocolate ice cream cone and put it in the glove compartment. Leave it there.
2. Get a dime. Stick it in the CD player.
3. Take a family size package of chocolate cookies. Mash them into the back seat. Sprinkle cheerios all over the floor, then smash them with your foot.
4. Run a garden rake along both sides of the car.

Lesson 8
1. Get ready to go out.
2. Sit on the floor of your bathroom reading picture books for half an hour.
3. Go out the front door.
4. Come in again. Go out.
5. Come back in.
6. Go out again.
7. Walk down the front path.
8. Walk back up it.
9. Walk down it again.
10. Walk very slowly down the sidewalk for five minutes.
11. Stop, inspect minutely, and ask at least 6 questions about every cigarette butt, piece of used chewing gum, dirty tissue, and dead insect along the way.
12. Retrace your steps.
13. Scream that you have had as much as you can stand until the neighbors come out and stare at you.
14. Give up and go back into the house.
You are now just about ready to try taking a small child for a walk.

Lesson 9
Repeat everything you have learned at least (if not more than) five times.

Lesson 10
Go to the local grocery store. Take with you the closest thing you can find to a preschool child. (A full-grown goat is an excellent choice). If you intend to have more than one child, then definitely take more than one goat. Buy your week's groceries without letting the goats out of your sight. Pay for everything the goat eats or destroys. Until you can easily accomplish this, do not even contemplate having children.

Lesson 11
1. Hollow out a melon.
2. Make a small hole in the side.
3. Suspend it from the ceiling and swing it from side to side.
4. Now get a bowl of soggy Cheerios and attempt to spoon them into the swaying melon by pretending to be an airplane.
5. Continue until half the Cheerios are gone.
6. Tip half into your lap. The other half, just throw up in the air.
You are now ready to feed a nine- month-old baby.

Lesson 12
Learn the names of every character from Sesame Street , Barney, Disney, the Teletubbies, and Pokemon. Watch nothing else on TV but PBS, the Disney channel or Noggin for at least five years. (I know, you're thinking What's 'Noggin'?) Exactly the point.

Lesson 13
Move to the tropics. Find or make a compost pile. Dig down about halfway and stick your nose in it. Do this 3-5 times a day for at least two years.

Lesson 14
Make a recording of Fran Drescher saying 'mommy' repeatedly. (Important: no more than a four second delay between each 'mommy'; occasional crescendo to the level of a supersonic jet is required). Play this tape in your car everywhere you go for the next four years. You are now ready to take a long trip with a toddler.

Lesson 15
Start talking to an adult of your choice. Have someone else continually tug on your skirt hem, shirt- sleeve, or elbow while playing the
'mommy' tape made from Lesson 14 above. You are now ready to have a conversation with an adult while there is a child in the room.

This is all very tongue in cheek; anyone who is parent will say 'it's all worth it!' Share it with your friends, both those who do and don't
have kids. I guarantee they'll l get a chuckle out of it. Remember, a sense of humor is one of the most important things you'll need when you become a parent!

The Belt

Bear found Jim's belt and he had to have it on. I kept it loose and he had a fit because it kept pooling around his feet and he wanted it to stay tight. He traipsed around ALL morning with this belt on- soo cute!

This Morning

I heard Cooper scream for us to come get him but I admit I snuggled in for a few more minutes of sleep. Until I heard him scream again and he sounded mad so I reluctantly got out of bed waking bear up. We traipsed into Coop's room and there he is in all his naked glory. He jumps up and in a ball hands me his diaper, plastic underpants and his pajamas. "Here you go mommy!" He is thrilled but a little chilly. I checked and there was not a single wet spot. I made his bed and cleaned up a little. Bear and I go out to the living room and there is Cooper laying there waiting for his diaper. I don't know why but that just tickled me this morning.

Wrestle Mania

I missed the earlier pictures of Bear jumping on top of Cooper. Coop was lying down waiting for a diaper change. (He announces he needs a diaper and will go over to the station and lie there waiting.) Bear kept standing up and jumping on Coop's stomach. Thankfully Coop was laughing every time. So Coop decided to get him back later in the day and wrestled Bear to the ground. It was funny for Bear at first but once he face planted again he had to buck Cooper off!