Anyone that's known me for any period of time knows how much I hate spiders. I'll scream like a little girl if a big enough spider comes near me...at this point, that size limit is any spider the size of my thumbnail or bigger. Please be warned about this new breed of spider...a crack spider. Dangerous, unpredictable, and have a tendency to overtake homes. I haven't seen any other than in this video.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3Jq0J2PBw0s
Showing posts with label Rant. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Rant. Show all posts
Thursday, January 11, 2007
Sunday, December 17, 2006
Handy Manny's a Handy Sham!
Y'know, I was talking to my brother, John, the other day, and he was telling me that he was missing my rant posts on the blog. Since I actually work for my paycheck nowadays, I'm not home as much as I wish I was and I don't get to watch the kid shows with Cooper and Bear as much as I once did. That, unfortunately, diminishes my ability to find new material to rant and rave about.
Well, HALLELUJAH! Just so happens that this weekend, I found a show to rant about. It is, of course, a Disney show. Imagine that. Disney. The media conglomerate that claims to be about and for families, yet, all they're concerned about is their bottom line. Think about how much influence Disney (the corporation) yields on our children. Television shows such as Disney Channel (duh), ABC, ABC Family, ESPN (you've gotta be kidding me) and all the ESPN channels. Movies (which are usually pretty good). Satellite radio such as XM (I think they have a couple of channels there). Theme Parks (which, if they weren't so derned expensive for a family of four, would probably have ALOT more patrons...not that they're hurting or anything), and Lord knows what else they've got their little tinkerbells into. Hell, they've even got a partnership with McDonalds! Watch their channels, and they're pushing that crap on our kids...that's a post and a rant for another day.
So, the show I'm going to beat down today is Handy Manny. This show's been on the air for some time now. I remember it being introduced back in August just after we moved down to NC.
According to Wikipedia, "Handy Manny is a TV animated children's program launched in 2006, part of the Playhouse Disney morning block of the Disney Channel. The show features the adventures of Manny Garcia, a bilingual Latino handyman, and his talking tools."
Yup, that about sums it up. Let's start off with the obvious political incorrectness of this show. Manny is "a bilingual Latino handyman". Isn't bilingual Latino redundant? Hmm. Anyways...what I'm focusing on is the word HANDYMAN. Are you telling me that Disney would only greenlight a new kids show with a Latino in the lead role if, and only if, he was a blue collar worker...a handyman? If you've ever seen this show, Manny can fix anything. I've seen him fix the town's stoplight, I've seen him fix a watch, the TV, the fridge...man, you name it, our little stereotypical Hispanic can fix it. That's realistic, isn't it? I mean, doesn't every Hispanic in our country know how to fix anything and work with his hands and the only job he can get is to be a handyman, I mean, since he can fix anything, right? What's next? Landscaping Luis? He comes with a talking lawn mower and weed wacker, and his nemesis is Mr. Thurston, the rich snooty fella down the street that always bitches and moans about those derned immigrants?
And let's look at Manny even more. Put aside the fact that Manny's a blue collar worker, he's got the typical hispanic accent (voiced by That 70's Show's Wilmer Valderrama...guess he couldn't get any sugar momma from Lindsay Lohan when she dumped him so he had to go find a real job). AND Manny easily trips into speaking Spanish, completely forgetting that all his customers are Americans and can't speak Spanish, so he has to translate what he just said. Dora the Explorer he ain't. I mean, c'mon, if you're going to work in this country, shouldn't you be able to communicate with your patrons without slipping into your native tongue? Or is Disney trying to desensitize our children now so they'll not insist that English remain our national language? Hmm...sounds like a conspiracy to me.
So, as you can see, Disney has yet again outdone themselves with their, ahem, childrens shows. I can't wait to see what's next. Oh wait, I think Johnny and the Sprites is coming soon...a show about a 30-something man that moves to the wilderness and ends up befriending a bunch of muppet fairies. First off, what's he doing by himself in the wilderness? Only disillusioned mathemticians sending out mailbombs live in the wilderness like that (Grizzly Adams the exception of course) and let's not talk about the derned fairies. Lord knows what he's doing with them when the cameras aren't rolling.
And one last thing about being a parent in general. Last night, for the first time, we shut off a movie because it may have been too innapropriate for the boys. We turned off Lord of the Rings: The Return of The King. Cooper was watching it intensely, and Abbie and I concluded that he may have bad dreams from all those derned orcs. Funny how it changes as a parent.
Well, HALLELUJAH! Just so happens that this weekend, I found a show to rant about. It is, of course, a Disney show. Imagine that. Disney. The media conglomerate that claims to be about and for families, yet, all they're concerned about is their bottom line. Think about how much influence Disney (the corporation) yields on our children. Television shows such as Disney Channel (duh), ABC, ABC Family, ESPN (you've gotta be kidding me) and all the ESPN channels. Movies (which are usually pretty good). Satellite radio such as XM (I think they have a couple of channels there). Theme Parks (which, if they weren't so derned expensive for a family of four, would probably have ALOT more patrons...not that they're hurting or anything), and Lord knows what else they've got their little tinkerbells into. Hell, they've even got a partnership with McDonalds! Watch their channels, and they're pushing that crap on our kids...that's a post and a rant for another day.
So, the show I'm going to beat down today is Handy Manny. This show's been on the air for some time now. I remember it being introduced back in August just after we moved down to NC.
According to Wikipedia, "Handy Manny is a TV animated children's program launched in 2006, part of the Playhouse Disney morning block of the Disney Channel. The show features the adventures of Manny Garcia, a bilingual Latino handyman, and his talking tools."
Yup, that about sums it up. Let's start off with the obvious political incorrectness of this show. Manny is "a bilingual Latino handyman". Isn't bilingual Latino redundant? Hmm. Anyways...what I'm focusing on is the word HANDYMAN. Are you telling me that Disney would only greenlight a new kids show with a Latino in the lead role if, and only if, he was a blue collar worker...a handyman? If you've ever seen this show, Manny can fix anything. I've seen him fix the town's stoplight, I've seen him fix a watch, the TV, the fridge...man, you name it, our little stereotypical Hispanic can fix it. That's realistic, isn't it? I mean, doesn't every Hispanic in our country know how to fix anything and work with his hands and the only job he can get is to be a handyman, I mean, since he can fix anything, right? What's next? Landscaping Luis? He comes with a talking lawn mower and weed wacker, and his nemesis is Mr. Thurston, the rich snooty fella down the street that always bitches and moans about those derned immigrants?
And let's look at Manny even more. Put aside the fact that Manny's a blue collar worker, he's got the typical hispanic accent (voiced by That 70's Show's Wilmer Valderrama...guess he couldn't get any sugar momma from Lindsay Lohan when she dumped him so he had to go find a real job). AND Manny easily trips into speaking Spanish, completely forgetting that all his customers are Americans and can't speak Spanish, so he has to translate what he just said. Dora the Explorer he ain't. I mean, c'mon, if you're going to work in this country, shouldn't you be able to communicate with your patrons without slipping into your native tongue? Or is Disney trying to desensitize our children now so they'll not insist that English remain our national language? Hmm...sounds like a conspiracy to me.
So, as you can see, Disney has yet again outdone themselves with their, ahem, childrens shows. I can't wait to see what's next. Oh wait, I think Johnny and the Sprites is coming soon...a show about a 30-something man that moves to the wilderness and ends up befriending a bunch of muppet fairies. First off, what's he doing by himself in the wilderness? Only disillusioned mathemticians sending out mailbombs live in the wilderness like that (Grizzly Adams the exception of course) and let's not talk about the derned fairies. Lord knows what he's doing with them when the cameras aren't rolling.
And one last thing about being a parent in general. Last night, for the first time, we shut off a movie because it may have been too innapropriate for the boys. We turned off Lord of the Rings: The Return of The King. Cooper was watching it intensely, and Abbie and I concluded that he may have bad dreams from all those derned orcs. Funny how it changes as a parent.
Monday, August 21, 2006
The Joys Of Apartment Living
As I sit here cooking lunch and watching Cooper attempt to swing Sully in his swing I'm listening to our upstairs neighbors heave and ho their keg from the party they had this weekend. Yes a keg they had on their balcony covered in black plastic I guess to hide it. Cooper, Sully and I came in with them and they were all nice and dressed up for work in a dress shirt and tie and next thing I know I see beer flowing from their balcony into the grass RIGHT in front of ours. Now I'm thinking- ok I guess I really don't care it's not my lawn but then it starts to come into our balcony and start to get all over our Chariot. Now there I draw the line I go running out the door yelling your getting beer all over my stuff!! And in true NC fashion he is soooo apologetic says he's having an explosion up there and he'll come rinse it off. So I watch him with cups of water wash off my balcony but not the chariot and leave as if he's done his job and the only thing I can think right now is damn what a waste of beer!!
Saturday, July 22, 2006
Another Little Einsteins Rant
Soooo, all four of us are in the living room this morning, and Cooper's watching Little Einsteins. Okay, okay, I was watching Little Einsteins, and Cooper was sitting with me.
Well, the episode was called "The Northern Night Light". They used music by Nikolay Rimsky-Korsakov, specifically, "Flight of the Bumblebee", which is an outstanding piece and hard as hell to play (for you musicians out there or those of you that have had a music appreciation course).
Abbie joined us in watching the show, and if you've seen this episode, you know that Quincy, the talented little black boy, makes "Flight of the Bumblebee" into a silly song that goes something like, "Flub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a daaaa...Dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a daaaa". Guess it makes more sense if you can actually hear it.
So Abbie says out of the blue, "So, figures they have the little black boy doing the silly song."
I was like, "huh?"
And she was like, "Because he can rap?"
Thank you to my wife for pointing out the political incorrectness, once again, of the Disney juggernaut!
Well, the episode was called "The Northern Night Light". They used music by Nikolay Rimsky-Korsakov, specifically, "Flight of the Bumblebee", which is an outstanding piece and hard as hell to play (for you musicians out there or those of you that have had a music appreciation course).
Abbie joined us in watching the show, and if you've seen this episode, you know that Quincy, the talented little black boy, makes "Flight of the Bumblebee" into a silly song that goes something like, "Flub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a daaaa...Dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a dub a daaaa". Guess it makes more sense if you can actually hear it.
So Abbie says out of the blue, "So, figures they have the little black boy doing the silly song."
I was like, "huh?"
And she was like, "Because he can rap?"
Thank you to my wife for pointing out the political incorrectness, once again, of the Disney juggernaut!
Friday, July 21, 2006
Thanks Mom
I remember my mother saying to me, “You’ll appreciate me for this one day. Just remember this when you have the choice to send me to a retirement home or take me in.” I of course always told her I would be sending her to a retirement home! Oh how now I wish I could eat most of my words I said as an annoying teenager. The last few days have been rough for me. We are packing the house and getting it ready to go on the market. That is stressful enough but add an infant and a toddler and we’ve been burning the candle at both ends. This morning I woke up and I actually felt drunk and dizzy because I was so tired. It took us over an hour just to cook Cooper’s food for the day and we barely had a moment to get the diaper bags ready or any food for us for our trip to Annapolis, MD. (Cooper is seeing an allergy specialist there.) We were running late speeding down the road when I realized that I had forgotten to put on a bra!! Yes my dear friends and family for the first time I can remember since I started wearing a bra I went without in public! Jim offered to turn around but I didn’t want to be late. As we are driving, mercifully Sullivan goes to sleep without the screaming fit he usually does in the car. What kid do you know that hates the car? (Every other car trip up until today has been a crying fit where Sullivan would cry hard and be so scared he would be bright red and have tears! An hour trip to the store turns into 3 because I have to keep stopping to soothe him.) I am trying to keep Cooper entertained with this purple caterpillar called Alphabet Pal. He’s screaming at me so I decide to use the mode where is makes the sounds of the letters of the alphabet to make dirty words. If I can hit all the legs in the right way it’s quite funny. This bores Cooper and he falls asleep and I breathe a sigh of relief I can finally take a nap myself. I close my eyes and start to relax. Just as I can feel sleep starting to take over I realize I have to pee. I have to pee so bad that I can’t sleep through it and I can’t ask Jim to stop because we are running late. So I sit up and will cars to get out of our way.
The doctor appointment was odd. Last week we loved the whole entire experience. This time the room was boiling hot, Cooper refused to sit down and take the treatment, we were asked to keep it down for the other sleeping patients. Cooper’s answer was to scream louder whereas before at least it was just loud laughter. We leave all sweaty, irritable, hungry and wouldn’t you know we get stuck in traffic. I feed Cooper and then finally make something for Jim and I. Unfortunately I spill most of it all over myself and the car. Who knows when I’ll have the chance to clean that up! At this point I’m starting to feel pretty sorry for myself. This past week I’ve been peed and pooped on more than I can count. I think it was just yesterday that Sullivan peed on me not once but twice and so badly that he soaked the couch, my pant leg, and yes my underwear. Jim came running as he heard me screaming, “nooooooooooo” and trying to deflect the pee with the wrong side of the diaper. I cried, I swear I couldn’t help it. Here I am again half dressed and covered in pee. I am so tired of being peed and pooped on. Cooper has thrown out all of our Tupperware lids so we have lots of dishes but no lids. Very annoying when you are in a hurry and all you need is one damn lid. If you can’t find something in our house it means Cooper has found it and either put it in a box or it’s in the trash can. I had that dreaded thought. I even said it out loud, “I hope these boys appreciate what we’ve gone through for them.” I say that and I know all the parents with older kids are probably shaking their heads knowing that I haven’t experienced anything yet. More than anything I find myself wanting to call my mom and apologize for not being more appreciative of all she went through to raise me. Thanks Mom I do appreciate all you’ve done for me!
The doctor appointment was odd. Last week we loved the whole entire experience. This time the room was boiling hot, Cooper refused to sit down and take the treatment, we were asked to keep it down for the other sleeping patients. Cooper’s answer was to scream louder whereas before at least it was just loud laughter. We leave all sweaty, irritable, hungry and wouldn’t you know we get stuck in traffic. I feed Cooper and then finally make something for Jim and I. Unfortunately I spill most of it all over myself and the car. Who knows when I’ll have the chance to clean that up! At this point I’m starting to feel pretty sorry for myself. This past week I’ve been peed and pooped on more than I can count. I think it was just yesterday that Sullivan peed on me not once but twice and so badly that he soaked the couch, my pant leg, and yes my underwear. Jim came running as he heard me screaming, “nooooooooooo” and trying to deflect the pee with the wrong side of the diaper. I cried, I swear I couldn’t help it. Here I am again half dressed and covered in pee. I am so tired of being peed and pooped on. Cooper has thrown out all of our Tupperware lids so we have lots of dishes but no lids. Very annoying when you are in a hurry and all you need is one damn lid. If you can’t find something in our house it means Cooper has found it and either put it in a box or it’s in the trash can. I had that dreaded thought. I even said it out loud, “I hope these boys appreciate what we’ve gone through for them.” I say that and I know all the parents with older kids are probably shaking their heads knowing that I haven’t experienced anything yet. More than anything I find myself wanting to call my mom and apologize for not being more appreciative of all she went through to raise me. Thanks Mom I do appreciate all you’ve done for me!
Thursday, July 13, 2006
When I Grow Up, I Want To Be Mediocre...
Sooo, Cooper and I are watching Playhouse Disney this morning, and we're watching Higglytown Heroes. Nothing spectualar about this show. The characters are all based on Russian Matryoshka nesting dolls and there are four main characters Eubie, Wayne, Twinkle, and Kip and their red squirrel friend Fran (who, incidentally, is voiced by the secretary from Ferris Bueller's Day Off..."quite a little bit", "you pinhead").
Our little nesting dolls explore their city and the people in it. Along the way, they meet "Higglytown heroes", the people in their community who make it a better place. These heroes have ranged from firefighters to dentists to police officers.
Nobly, the show "encourages involvement in the community, and means to inspire children to consider the importance of individuals who contribute to the world and make it better place." What a great idea...use a kids' show to espouse the importance of contributing to society.
Today, though, I was actually...how can I put it...flabbergasted by who the Higglytown hero was. Today, it was...
...the window washer!
That's right, this Disney show was promoting to our chillins out there that the noble career path to take is to be a window washer! Next thing you know, they're going to be promoting being a tent catcher. The writers must've been struggling for material.
Our little nesting dolls explore their city and the people in it. Along the way, they meet "Higglytown heroes", the people in their community who make it a better place. These heroes have ranged from firefighters to dentists to police officers.
Nobly, the show "encourages involvement in the community, and means to inspire children to consider the importance of individuals who contribute to the world and make it better place." What a great idea...use a kids' show to espouse the importance of contributing to society.
Today, though, I was actually...how can I put it...flabbergasted by who the Higglytown hero was. Today, it was...
...the window washer!
That's right, this Disney show was promoting to our chillins out there that the noble career path to take is to be a window washer! Next thing you know, they're going to be promoting being a tent catcher. The writers must've been struggling for material.
Monday, June 26, 2006
It's Early, and I'm Feeling Like Ranting
Yeah, its about 6:30 AM right now. Not early, per se, but not late. Probably early to some of you readers out there. Only early to me b/c I've not been getting to sleep as early as I used to...so I'm a bit tired. On top of that, Sully tends to fuss from 3AM to 5AM straight (and I'm not the one that's awake with him that entire time, Abbie is...which explains why she sleeps in once I get up to get Cooper).
So, I get Cooper each morning and take him downstairs to get him breakfast and to keep him from just simply screaming in his crib.
Unfortunately, the only thing that really keeps him from continuing his screaming and fussing is TV.
First off, save the "TV is bad for your toddler" emails. I don't wanna hear it. Second off, we'll deal with his addiction to the boob tube when he gets a bit older and can understand WHY we turn it off or don't let him watch it at all. But, I digress...this isn't a post about the merits or demerits of TV with your toddler.
Well, while he watches these shows, I sit here with him and end up watching them too (Abbie will regale you with stories of me stopping what I'm doing and just watching one of Coop's kid shows, drool coming down my chin, me oblivious to anything around me). Never did I think I would be able to tell you who Thomas the Tank Engine is, what a Boobah is, what color shoes Baby Bok wears, how Barney actually thinks he's purple b/c he's just one of several shades of purple, what the names of the Teletubbies are or what a Doodlebop is. But I can.
Sometimes as I watch these shows, I start to wonder why the creators of the show did it the way they did. Let's take this Disney Channel staple, Little Einsteins. It's a closet politically incorrect show that tries to be politically correct. It's a show created by the Baby Einstein folks (after they sold out to Disney, of course) with a cast of four kids that are trying to find a solution to a problem and along the way, they have clues that are mixed with classical music and classic art pieces. I like classical music, so I like the show (they have a really catchy opening tune).
Well, let's look at the cast. There's four kids. Two boys, two girls. One boy is white, one is black. One girl is white, one is Asian-American (her English has no hint of an accent). Politically correct? Check! Who's in charge? The black boy? No. One of the girls? No. It's the little white boy. See the subliminal message? I can only imagine the creators sitting around the negotiating table and saying, "But, we included the Asian chick." Heaven forbid if this group of kids gets into a real trouble spot...I feel bad for the black boy. It harkens back to the cinematic classic method of sacrificing the black guy first. Even cartoons can't get a break. Thank God he's not wearing a red shirt (Trekkies rejoice at my reference), then his ass would be toast without a doubt.
That's my rant for the day. Just interesting observations of one the children's shows out there.
So, I get Cooper each morning and take him downstairs to get him breakfast and to keep him from just simply screaming in his crib.
Unfortunately, the only thing that really keeps him from continuing his screaming and fussing is TV.
First off, save the "TV is bad for your toddler" emails. I don't wanna hear it. Second off, we'll deal with his addiction to the boob tube when he gets a bit older and can understand WHY we turn it off or don't let him watch it at all. But, I digress...this isn't a post about the merits or demerits of TV with your toddler.
Well, while he watches these shows, I sit here with him and end up watching them too (Abbie will regale you with stories of me stopping what I'm doing and just watching one of Coop's kid shows, drool coming down my chin, me oblivious to anything around me). Never did I think I would be able to tell you who Thomas the Tank Engine is, what a Boobah is, what color shoes Baby Bok wears, how Barney actually thinks he's purple b/c he's just one of several shades of purple, what the names of the Teletubbies are or what a Doodlebop is. But I can.
Sometimes as I watch these shows, I start to wonder why the creators of the show did it the way they did. Let's take this Disney Channel staple, Little Einsteins. It's a closet politically incorrect show that tries to be politically correct. It's a show created by the Baby Einstein folks (after they sold out to Disney, of course) with a cast of four kids that are trying to find a solution to a problem and along the way, they have clues that are mixed with classical music and classic art pieces. I like classical music, so I like the show (they have a really catchy opening tune).
Well, let's look at the cast. There's four kids. Two boys, two girls. One boy is white, one is black. One girl is white, one is Asian-American (her English has no hint of an accent). Politically correct? Check! Who's in charge? The black boy? No. One of the girls? No. It's the little white boy. See the subliminal message? I can only imagine the creators sitting around the negotiating table and saying, "But, we included the Asian chick." Heaven forbid if this group of kids gets into a real trouble spot...I feel bad for the black boy. It harkens back to the cinematic classic method of sacrificing the black guy first. Even cartoons can't get a break. Thank God he's not wearing a red shirt (Trekkies rejoice at my reference), then his ass would be toast without a doubt.
That's my rant for the day. Just interesting observations of one the children's shows out there.
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